Daddy's Poems

I want to ask you so many things,

I'll never get the chance.

You'll never hold your grandkids,

I'll never get my dance.

Mom was on the news today,

she has been on for months.

And even though you're not around,

the Comets for you triumphed.

Nick and Tony won the game,

You would have been so proud.

With Nick at pitch and Ton at plate,

You would have cheered so loud.

Raina sure is struggling

to be their mom and dad.

Last week I saw her crying,

but Nicky's not all bad.

He doesn't like correction

any more than you or I.

Back in our years at Hillcrest,

authority did we defy.

He's still the same old know-it-all,

I bet you could have guessed.

He's got a heart like you, Dad, 

but your hugs were still the best.

Tony's got that girl of his,

you always liked her tons.

He'll always have that sweet tooth

for candy and cinnamon buns.

Filled with adoration,

is anyone who meets

your eldest prized possession

Indescribable Raina Leigh.

My little rhyming antics

were better in third grade,

when I wrote about The City-

man, were those the days.

I wish I could just ask you, 

if ever did you know,

that when you'd leave for work at four-

I'd watch from my window.

All of this is after

you'd kiss me on the head..

and make sure that my big ol' feet

weren't sticking out of bed.

Into New York City,

you'd drive and pay a toll.

Then work all day and home sweet home,

sometimes with Kaiser rolls.

After eating dinner,

you'd always find the time

to ride your bike, or play guitar,

or shoot from the free throw line.

I've gone through lots of trials,

I've had my tears and pain.

But sadness turns to smiles,

and forgiveness I have gained.

I'm sitting on the bathroom floor,

can't even sleep a wink.

Talking helped me learn much more,

and listening made me think.

Association with the crowd

has sometimes hit me hard.

It's always been so wild and loud,

I'll play a different card.

I want to get my life on track,

be in a better place.

Follow not these worldly ways,

instead I'll Jesus chase.

I'm gonna say good night now,

and go and close my eyes.

I'll, 'now I lay me down to sleep.'

and dream of you in lies.

Pretending I can call you,

with questions, love, and song.

Ignoring in sweet slumber,

you now to heaven belong.

This is quite the pattern

whenever I can't sleep.

Most common it's the latter

to dream or just think deep.

I picked up your guitar today

and tried to pick and strum.

Your song I hear inside my mind, 

it makes my heart go numb.

You said, 'I'll always know you

better than you know yourself.

Don't choose the choices I did,

I went back and forth from hell.'

The sound of disappointment

was worse than even anger.

I'd rather hear some yelling,

than saddened forewarned danger.

With most things in this petty life,

I don't know what to do.

I miss your sweet and calming voice,

'K-Maxx, God is good.'

You always gave the best advice,

too bad I never listened.

You gave the greatest sacrifice,

now it's your lectures I'm missin'.

There's times I felt that all I needed

was my conscience to disappear.

There's shame and guilt which taunts my mind,

I pretended you weren't so near.

Sometimes it's overwhelming

to see all that's on my plate.

I miss you more than ever,

but it solves nothing just to hate.

2007- Kelsey Maxine