Nothing but the Blood

[MANiFEST]
Synonyms: confirm, declare, illustrate, make known, proclaim, reveal, voice
Antonyms: bury, conceal, cover, obscure, withhold

Something is missing. There has got to be more. Yes, Kelsey, there is more.
The breeze is blowing through the slanted windows of my classroom and Faith Dutton is passionately delivering a message to the DTS 360Degrees students. It is Tuesday morning of week two at Kailua-Kona's University of the Nations.

"Here is the word of the Lord for you. . . 'GO!' (now you go and ask God the details)." Faith's piercing blue eyes and down under accent have me attentive... but at the firm, 'GO!', I sit up a little straighter. The shiver up my spine makes me widen my eyes and, once again, the strange burning sensation is back at it deep inside my chest. Faith continues, "Look to the end of Matthew, what did Jesus say to His disciples? Matthew 28 ends with 'The Great Commission,' not 'A Pretty Good Suggestion.'"

For just a moment, imagine beginning your week gathering together with Christian believers for praise and worship. In hindsight, it's the situations where I've been convinced I have everything under control when I am blindsighted with opportunities for lessons in humility. Monday morning this week I was overwhelmed with emotion as the worship leader, Jonathan, transitioned between songs and gave us a touching illustration. He began, saying, "I used to wonder why people raised their hands in the middle of church." Swaying to the rhythm of the guitar, I visualized myself years ago, in my parents' Mount Bethel church, thinking the same thing. Jonathan continued, mentioning the homecoming he had after a longer trip away from home. His son came bounding out of the house with outstretched arms, "Daddy! Pick me up! OH, Daddy, I love you! Pick me up!" The image makes my eyes glisten- until we begin to sing- 'Oh, Lord, You're beautiful. Your face is all I seek. And when Your eyes are on this child, Your grace abounds to me.' Abba. Hold me. You know where I hurt, Father. Fix me. Sometimes we lift our arms to heaven, asking God to hold us. Other times, we hold our faces and fall to our knees. The Father heart of the Holy Trinity has begun a miraculous ministry of healing and restoration to this broken daughter, revealing promises of a glorious inheritance.

It's easy and, I'm learning, dangerous, to attempt to shove GOD in a box of things thrown into a storage unit. God is not a thing, a word you speak empty words to. I cannot define God. I cannot categorize God. God is in all and is all, and Hallelujah, He is never contradictory. At some point along my lifelong journey, I let my Bible get dusty. When I neglected to remember to keep my personal time with God a priority, I neglected to remember the Sabbath and keep it holy. I became complacent. On Tuesday morning, Faith challenged our class, making it clear that this is no pep talk. This is a reality that I once backslid into ignoring. There is good and there is evil. For a very long time, I have lived a compromising life, making decisions without taking the time to weigh the consequences.

This was a long week, focusing on the draining topic 'Sin and Repentance.' God is not interested in my leftovers! He asked me to take up my cross and follow Jesus; every moment I choose to live in a way that is not pleasing to Him, not only do I waste time but I break His heart. Psalm 147:3 reads, He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds. Thursday morning during my personal time with God, I visualized walls within my soul. My unrighteous, immoral behavior and my doubt in the Lord was represented in the walls, built brick by sinful brick. For a very long time, I spray painted my brick wall with rainbows and hearts, stars and flowers, convincing myself that neither God nor man could see past my graffitied happiness. Gradually and without warning, my sin had chained me to the inner wall of what had become an isolated, dark tower. Alone and enslaved, I was made aware that I had never succeeded in hiding myself from the Lord, who is and was always waiting on the opportunity to redeem. This was a nightmare, and I pleaded with God but, Lord, I'm on the right track! I'm desperate for you. My YWAM leaders speak of their relationships with you so confidently, describing what you reveal to them when they 'meet' with you. What does that even mean? When will I be free to walk with you? I want so badly to hear your voice. I'm trying so hard... My sins were glued together with a cement of selfpity, pride, contempt, hipocrisy, and anger. "Trying so hard" is using the hand that isn't bound to the devil's throne to dig brick by sinful brick out of the cement of selfish ambition. Painfully scraping away and getting no where, my walls had not hidden me from the Father, but instead blinded me from revelation of who the Father meant me to be. We will try and fail. The blood of the Lamb is the only way to find life and the blood will never lose it's power.


We're headed towards judgement like a bullet out of the end of a gun barrel. We fall into a trap in thinking God cannot forgive some of the sins we have committed. You cannot over-exagerate the love the Uncreated One has for you. Faith told us on Tuesday, "When we pray, God goes to WAR for us, and He will FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT for your life." Yesterday, Friday morning, the girls and boys split into seperate groups and, in the name of Jesus Christ, we broke the chains we enslaved ourselves to throughout the years. 2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." Praise the Lord, I am a new creation and the ways in which I once walked do not define me. Jesus is worthy of the reward of His suffering and I now walk in the power of the cross.

Thank you for your time.
Thank you for being a prayer warrior on my behalf.
Thank you for your affection, your grace, and your understanding.
Thank you for loving me.

God is good, all the time.
All the time, God is good.

What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the Blood of Jesus.
What can make me whole again? Nothing but the Blood of Jesus.
Oh, precious is the flow that makes me white as snow.
No other fount, I know, nothing but the Blood of Jesus.