Ashtray Ambitions

Rewind to elementary school art class, however many years ago, to the week your focus was on ceramics. How many children mold their handful of clay into an ashtray, no matter that neither parent smokes?

Without Jesus to wash us white as snow, there can never be a genuinely white Christmas. Consider Lindsay, for example; his father, a distant and severe man, worked him especially hard during the holidays. Lindsay was given extra chores at the family ranch, and his old man whipped him if he didn't work hard enough. Lindsay lived in fear of these beatings, which often drew blood; but even worse were the verbal floggings. The names, the insults, the belittling put-downs; they seemed especially harsh at Christmas. The memories stayed with him all his life, tormenting him like demons every December. One friend once said, "Lindsay was never able to find happiness. He became a hard drinking hell raiser who went from woman to woman and couldn't find peace or success." Finally, at age 51, he angrily watched Bing Crosby's White Christmas one last time, put a gun to his head, and a bullet through his brain. "I hated Christmas because of Pop," he once said, "and always will. It brings back the pain and fear I suffered as a child. And if I ever do myself in, it will be at Christmas time. That will show the world what I think of Bing Crosby and his White Christmas. Ironically and sadly, this man's name was Lindsay Crosby.. Bing Crosby's son.

I am so blessed to have had Steven Brian as my earthly father for the eighteen years of my life in which he was alive. I, personally, made a ceramic hamburger for daddy back in elementary school; but the more I get to know my heavenly Father, I realize His plans for my life are greater than my own.

"But now, O Lord, you are our Father;
we are the clay, and you are our potter;
we are all the work of your hand."
Isaiah 64:8
God told me to trust him,
and He promised He doesn't want to make me an ashtray.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart."
Jeremiah 29:11-13

"Relationships are eternal. Might as well have good ones!" Dean Sherman spoke out to the students a few weeks ago. Dean taught on relationships, expanding on how we see this in the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. In the beginning, Genesis describes the magnificent act of creation, but (v.26) tells us "Then God said, 'Let us make man in our image, after our likeness..'" The first chapter of the Bible tells us relationships are eternal, that the image of God is not aloneness. John 1:1-3 reads "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made." I do not see it to be by chance that the gospel of John begins with a subject of relationship and continually focuses so much on God's love for us.

In Matthew, Jesus is portrayed as a King, the Messiah for the Jews. In Mark, Jesus is shown to be a servant, and was written for the Romans. Mark features the disciples, the crowds, and the religious leaders, none of whom understood Jesus. As the prophecies were fulfilled and the time came for Jesus to go to the cross, the religious Pharisees arrested him, the disciples abandoned him, and the crowds criticized him. Only when he died alone on the cross did a Roman centurion recognize that He was the Son of God. The Gospel of Luke was written by a physician, and focuses so much on the healing ministry of Christ. Luke wrote this as a letter for the Greeks, and presented Jesus as a Perfect Man. John is so tender in writing to persuade people to believe in Jesus, the Son of God. The opening verses declare that Jesus is God, stressing his unique relationship with God the Father. Read John 3:16-17 :God met sin with love. The more we step out in love, the more we draw near to God! John 15:34-35 reads, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples if you have love for one another."

The Bible talks about a love that surpasses knowledge (Ephesians 3:19). [SURPASS]:to go beyond in amount, extent, or degree; be greater than; exceed. Something beyond what we are capable of understanding with our minds! The love that the King of Kings has for you is something you cannot comprehend! God loves your self image whether you like it or not. Dean entertained us some more, "God did facebook. The Lamb's book of life... you've been tagged." The class erupts into laughter at this fifty-something's amazing sense of humor and his capability to relate to this crowd of mostly young adults.

Something deep within me still aches when I look at the last five years of my life. Christ is continually renewing my soul as I look back to the ways I toiled and strived to make something of myself; I sought freedom as a child and became a rebellious teen. I chased freedom down the path of reckless abandon and found myself an angry drug addict. I conformed to the corporate world, climbing "promotion pyramid", and assumed my plastic Barbie doll success was freedom. I shattered the mirror of false identity and believed freedom was arranging a mosaic of my broken, jaded life. I traveled countries and states, a flower child toting a backpack and a peace pipe, and thought walking barefoot and smiling at strangers was freedom. Dancing from one mask to another, I've had a surface faith. As a counterfeit believer I was blind to the bondage and the slavery I was under. I was making my Father an ashtray! What does it mean to be a disciple? The call of Christ is to long for God and the plan He has for your life. Most people I've met in the last two years have made mention of my lifestyle and the freedom I have. Until I made the decision to live for the cause of Christ, I was restricted. There will always be limits to the liberties we gain independently. When we allow God to create in us a heart that is pure, He will break the secret shackles; He will wash away shame and guilt. Ezekiel 36:26 reads, "And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh." Once you realize that we, as humans, were not made to be alone and embrace God's gift to have fellowship and relationship with our Heavenly Father, you are truly set free.

A Shane and Shane song called "Want it All" is so appropriately my prayer as I write. Wherever I go, I want Christ to be magnified. I want people to look to my life and say, I see Jesus Christ. Imagine if someone looked at your life and said, "if that's Christianity, I don't want it." Jesus is perfect love, that same love that surpasses knowledge (Ephesians 3:19). The enemy has been at work in the world and, generation by generation, has twisted God's truth: Lust is not love, and love never lusts. "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love." John 15:9

The High Priestly Prayer (John 17) is such a powerful portion of scripture, ending with, in verse 26, "I made known to them your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them." God is our Father, our Creator, and our Counselor. "'..It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life. But there are some of you who do not believe.' (For Jesus knew from the beginning who those were who did not believe, and who it was who would betray him.) And he said, 'This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by the Father.'"
John 6:63-65

Will you allow the one who designed you to define you?
Or will you make your Father an ashtray?

"And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him." Hebrews 11:6

As the Father's love for us surpasses our knowledge and understanding, so also do His desires surpass our wildest dreams.


May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13